Talking to Your Child About Mental Health
Children are facing pressures that have an impact on everyday functioning. Parents play a vital role in helping them understand their emotions. Conversations about mental health can help build coping skills, reduce stigma, and recognize when to seek help. The way these conversations are approached should be tailored to the child’s age, maturity, and understanding.
Conversations about mental health shouldn't be saved for moments of crisis. Age-appropriate mental health discussions start in early childhood. Everyday moments, such as after school, at bedtime, or during a walk, can help create casual, pressure-free check-ins. So how exactly can we talk to our children about mental health in an age-appropriate manner?
Developmentally Appropriate Conversations About Mental
Preschoolers (ages 4-6)
Use very simple language and focus on basic emotions like happy, sad, or mad.
Label emotions as they occur.
Use pictures or stories to help them identify feelings.
Use relatable examples from their daily life.
Teach basic coping strategies, like deep breathing or finding a calm space.
School-Age Children (Ages 7–11)
Continue to introduce more coping mechanisms. Along with deep breathing exercises, consider counting, repeating mantras, or introducing body movement.
Explain that it’s normal to feel sad, worried, or angry sometimes, and that talking helps.
Answer any questions that a child may have honestly and in a manner that encourages them to continue to ask questions.
Preteens and Teens (Ages 12–18)
Use more nuanced, in-depth conversations about topics like stress, anxiety, depression, and social pressures.
Encourage open dialogue, ask for their thoughts, and validate their feelings.
Discuss mental health conditions more directly, including the role of therapy, medication, and support systems.
Recognize their need for autonomy and avoid lecturing; instead, engage in collaborative problem-solving.
Normalize seeking help and frame therapy as a positive, routine part of health care.
Tips for All Ages
Normalize emotions, regardless of your child’s gender. Let them know it’s natural to feel a range of emotions.
Provide them with reassurance by emphasizing that mental health challenges are common and not their fault.
Encourage questions. Be open to repeated conversations; children may need to revisit the topic to understand and process it.
Model healthy coping strategies in your everyday life. Show healthy ways to manage emotions and seek help when needed.
Give children information about who they can talk to if they feel worried or need support. Who are their “safe” adults?
Consider Avoiding:
Avoid using complex or frightening language with young children.
Do not overburden children with adult-level details about mental illness.
Avoid suggesting that mental health issues are the result of personal weaknesses.
Warning Signs of Mental Health Distress
It's normal for kids to have bad days, but persistent changes in behavior can be red flags. If you notice changes in the following, consider consulting with your child's pediatrician, social worker, school psychologist, or a mental health professional for additional support:
Withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed
Changes in sleep or eating habits
Persistent irritability or sadness
Drop in school performance
Talk of hopelessness or self-harm
MOST IMPORTANT: BE YOUR CHILDS SAFE SPACE! Your child doesn’t need you to have all the answers, just to be present, compassionate, and open. Talking about mental health doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to happen. By fostering a safe space at home, you're giving your child the tools they need to thrive emotionally and to seek the help they need if it is needed.